It’s another Saturday night and you are alone at home in your pyjamas cooking your favourite meal and preparing to watch another Hallmark movie. You are setting the table for one AGAIN when your dear mother calls and asks if you are seeing anyone and your reply is always the same. You are wondering why you are still alone when most of your friends are dating or enjoying a romantic weekend? If you are struggling to find love, it could be that your intelligence is getting in the way of finding the love of your life. You are an intelligent career driven woman and you are used to having everything under control. You are independent and you can pay your bills and you never rely on anyone to help you make important decisions in your life. However, when it comes to finding love, it can be a struggle to find somebody that will love you for who you are and is able to see that you are human with vulnerabilities. This blog post will explore the reasons why intelligent women struggle to find love and some tips on how to overcome these struggles without compromising your values.
“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.”
albert einstein
THE REASONS:
- Independence: Strong independent women with a drive to succeed enjoy intelligent conversation with complicated terminology that can make some men feel intimidated by their intelligence. Men like to feel needed and if you enjoy pursuing your own interests without spending quality time with your partner, it can cause conflict in the relationship.
- High standards: Intelligent women have high standards and are perfectionists and this can lead to disappointment when a man doesn’t live up to their expectations. There can be a long dating checklist of qualities that their partner needs to have to meet their standards and smart women would rather be alone than compromise on their high standards and lifestyle.
- Busy schedule: Intelligent women have a busy schedule, they are constantly working to meet deadlines and like the challenge of having multiple streams of income and often have more than one job. They enjoy working and building successful businesses and may feel that creating a family will prevent them from achieving their goals and dreams.
TIPS FOR FINDING LOVE
Humans are a social species and usually thrive in a safe environment surrounded by other people. However, there are many people that live solitary lives and don’t feel lonely and people that have a rich social life can still feel lonely. Independent women have learned to take care of themselves, they always have activities that are engaging and when they have time to socialise they meet with their trusted circle of friends. We live in a society that tends to criticise women that are single as that is not the ‘normal’ way to live their life. Smart women know that to sacrifice their career and lifestyle and settle with the wrong person can create problems in the future. Intelligent women don’t fear the social implications or what society thinks is acceptable or not acceptable and they are happy to live life on their terms.
Trust yourself: Accept that you don’t have to compromise your lifestyle, you can live your life on your terms and still have everything you want, sometimes it might take longer than expected. Trust yourself as you do know what you want, many women settle in a relationship as they can feel they are running out of time to have children. You can find love at any age, it really depends what you want in your life. You always have options to plan your future on your own and be happy.
Don’t be afraid of vulnerability: Smart successful women love to be in control and it can be hard for them to show their vulnerability when they have always been in control of their own lives. We don’t always know how to allow someone to take care of us especially if we have been taking care of ourselves for most of our adult life. Most men enjoy taking care of women, they want to buy dinner, open the door for their lady and be in charge of planning in the relationship. Learn to show your vulnerability and allow the man in your life to lead most of the time and give him tasks so that he feels that he’s contributing to the relationship. Sometimes women can be too independent, but men want to be the hero, so learn to relax and play their game.
Lead with your feminine energy: Successful women are usually driven to succeed in their careers and can use a lot of “masculine” energy. If we want to attract love, we need to embrace our “feminine” energy and allow the man to love us for who we are and not what we do. Allow yourself to flirt and enjoy each other’s company and learn to relax as hard work is for your career, we shouldn’t have to work hard for love. It should be a natural process of allowing and attracting the right person into your life.
TRUST YOUR HEART
In many ways it is harder for intelligent women to find love as their expectations are higher. Smart women have learned to take care of themselves emotionally and financially and in building successful careers or businesses they usually make decisions with their minds and not their hearts. Learn to tap into your intuition and trust your heart when it comes to finding love. Allowing yourself to fall in love and following your heart should not be a struggle.