Do you remember the moment you realised you were in love? Perhaps that special someone appeared out of nowhere and as if by magic they were standing in front of you. Your mind stopped and it felt like you couldn’t breathe let alone speak! You remember that moment when you looked into their eyes and your heart seemed to skip a beat, you wanted to start running away but your legs felt like they were glued to the floor. There was no escape from the overpowering emotions and you were lost in their eyes, those beautiful eyes that told the story of your life together. You were transported to another world and your life was perfect for a while, until you realised that the fairytale had to end. Your world fell apart, and you felt like a fool for allowing love to enter your life, after all nothing lasts forever. This is the part of your life when you realise that to love someone is to risk everything. At this stage most people decide to lock their heart and throw away the key. The fear of the pain and losing blocks love from their life, they fear the emotional pain of heartbreak and so the heart becomes an open wound, they never allow that wound to heal or love to enter again.
“Such wounds to the heart will probably never heal. But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever.”
haruki murakami
I am writing this blog post from my own experience as I know the feelings of pain and regret when a relationship falls apart, there will always be a part of yourself that wishes that you could have done something different to make the relationship work. I’m here to tell you that everything happens for a reason and what is meant to be will always be, the best thing you can do is look forward and believe that the universe has a plan for you. In due time you will realise that this situation happened to allow you to open up to new possibilities and to bring new people into your life.
Love can be painful and all consuming but if you don’t allow your heart to heal you will never allow love to enter your life again. Let go of the fear and pain and learn to love yourself first and start living again, we have all been there, we build walls around our heart and no one can enter. We send out a negative energy unconsciously, and then we wonder why no one is attracted to us and we cannot find love. Our lives don’t always turn out how we expect and it is wise to remain open to new possibilities and let go of control. This can seem difficult to understand when your life has fallen apart but healing your heart and learning to love yourself first and create your own happiness will attract other people into your life. Loving yourself will open your heart to receiving love and the right person will be attracted to you like a magnet!
“Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.”
william shakespeare
Here are some ways to learn to love yourself again, let go of fear and open your heart to love:
THE POWER OF PATIENCE AND FORGIVENESS
Be kind and patient with yourself, make time for self-care and treat yourself to the things you enjoy. It IS POSSIBLE to enjoy life when you’re single. Make a conscious effort to forgive yourself and all the people that have hurt you in your life. Our ego doesn’t like to lose, to feel betrayed and humiliated. However, this is not who you are, you are so much more than the ego, accept the painful situation, acknowledge your challenging emotions and then allow yourself to let them go. We are not supposed to keep our emotions locked up, allow yourself to feel sad and cry, it’s all part of the process of healing. Be patient with yourself, the transition takes time and the healing won’t happen overnight but with consistent effort you will start to be feel better and positive again. Heal the aspects of yourself that need healing so you don’t keep repeating the same pattern with your relationships.
LET GO OF FEAR
We are human and it is completely normal to feel fear, however you can learn to embrace the fear, acknowledge its presence and move forward anyway. Learn to trust yourself again and tell yourself that you will allow yourself to love again. Start trusting slowly and reward yourself when you achieved something that scared you. Build confidence with achieving small goals, you always have a choice to feel negative or positive about your life. If you spend your time focussing on the negative this will become your reality. Remain focussed on the positive in your life and fear will have no space in your positive world.
“The best way to find out if you can trust anybody is to trust them.”
ernest hemingway
OPEN YOUR HEART TO LOVE
If you want to love again, you have to love yourself first and make friends with solitude. A partner is a mirror that can reveal parts of ourself that need healing. What is the story that you are telling yourself over and over again? Are you happy with who you are or are you constantly seeking validation from your relationships. Your life is a mirror; your outer world is the mirror of your inner world. We attract into our lives what we think and how we feel. Therefore we have to do the inner work and love ourselves first to attract healthy relationships into your lives. We are born to take risks, every day of our lives we are learning and growing, be willing to open your heart to love and let go of expectations.
SELF-LOVE IS YOUR TRUE LOVE
You are love and learning to accept and love yourself is your true love. The external world may fall apart, people can disappoint you and leave your life but if you love and respect yourself you will always have the strength to overcome any challenge in your life. It all starts with loving yourself, you become a powerful magnet to attract positive and loving relationships into your life.
“Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.”
ERNEST HOLMES
When one door closes another door opens. Respect yourself and never waste your time and love on someone who cannot give you one hundred percent commitment to the relationship. If you are single at the moment, love yourself for just being YOU, there will be limitless chances for love and know that Loving yourself is the greatest love of all.