Everyone needs a second chance and perhaps many chances to start over in life. Are you thinking that you made a mistake in your career perhaps you are going through a divorce, changing your career or environment? Starting over doesn’t have to be a scary experience but it does require courage and a decision to make the changes in your life. If you are feeling like you’ve had enough of waiting for things to be perfect then you can make the decision to no longer accept your current situation and take active steps to succeed. I’ve failed many times when starting over but it means I’ve tried many things too and it has helped me understand what makes me happy. You have to be willing to fail and try new things to know what works or doesn’t work in life.
You have to be willing to pick yourself up after every failure and keep trying again and again UNTIL things work out. Sometimes we have a plan but the universe decides what is best for our future. Be patient, keep going and allow change into your life. If something doesn’t work out, accept it, learn the lesson and keep moving forward with your new plan. The universe is always guiding you and you are never alone.
I’ve learned from experience and made many mistakes along the way, but I have also learned new skills and made new decisions. I have no regrets and I continue to see failure as a learning opportunity and growth on my journey in life. If you are still reading my blog post, I hope some of these 10 steps that have helped me can help you to start thinking of new ways to start over in your life and succeed.
Here are my 10 steps that helped me continue to move forward in my life even through all the challenges and obstacles:
1. Forgive yourself and let go of the past
Forgiveness is always my first step before trying anything new. Look at where you are at the moment and turn inward and ask yourself, “am I happy in my life?” This one question can set the ball rolling for other questions. If you are not where you want to be at this stage of your life, forgive yourself and realise that you can change your life from this point and start thinking about the changes you want to make in your life. Whatever happened is in the past and accept that it’s over, done and let go of anything that is no longer serving you or making you happy. Sometimes this might take longer than expected but once you make the decision, keep moving forward and don’t look back!
Realise that everything that has happened in your life until now has been a lesson for you to grow and learn what is working or not working in your life. We must recognise that difficulties appear in our life to make us stronger and everything is temporary. Be the observer of your emotions and don’t allow the drama to continue playing in your mind. Let it go!
2. Be grateful for your life
No matter how much you have suffered in your life, always be grateful for what you have as it’s from this space of positivity about being grateful that you will attract more. Congratulate yourself for everything you have achieved until this stage in your life and be positive that more beautiful things will enter your life when you change your mindset and stay in a positive state. Be mindful of your negative thoughts during the day and replace those negative, fearful thoughts with positive self-talk during the day. I know it’s easier said than done, but start by being aware of your thoughts during the day. Be the observer of your mind and this can help you to distance yourself from the monkey mind and stay in control. Keep a gratitude journal and when you wake up in the morning write a few sentences of what you are grateful for in your life. This can help to set the tone for your day. Gratitude can be powerful to increase your positive vibration and attract more good into your life.
3. Decide what you really want
You might be going round on a hamster wheel in the same direction if you don’t decide what you want. Decide what you really want and what will make you happy instead of wasting time fulfilling someone else’s dreams. Don’t worry too much about the HOW you will get there as once you decide what you want and create your plan, everything can start falling into place.
Ask yourself the question, “do I want to be in the same situation 5 years from now?” Write a list of things that you want to change in your life and set goals to start working towards achieving what you want. Follow your intuition and promise yourself that you will never give up on doing what you really love no matter how hard things get. Remember that you are on this planet for a purpose and don’t waste your life in a job or relationship that no longer serves you or resonates with your soul.
4. Career and professional ambitions
It’s never too late to change your career and live your dream life. If you are working in a soul destroying job and the stress is impacting your health, perhaps it’s time to start thinking about changing your job or career. You are capable of becoming more than you are and don’t allow the fear and negative thoughts to stop you from moving forward and become the person who you are meant to be. You are here on this planet to grow and realise your true potential. If you feel that you are not growing in your job or career and you always look forward to the weekends, these could be signs that your soul is calling for a change. The question is: will you listen to your intuition and start making the changes or will you stay where you are and waste another year of your life? The choice is always yours and no one can make the decision for you. Be specific about what you want and start working on small goals to move forward to a new job or career that resonates with your soul. Don’t listen to negative people that will tell you that it’s too late to change your career or that there is a risk of failing if you try something new. Listen to your heart and you will find all the answers you need.
5. Look after your wellbeing
If you have been neglecting your health and eating junk food, it can lead to your health deteriorating. If you are going to start over in all aspects of your life, then start with looking after your body and improving your health. Make your health a priority so you will be able to have the energy required to continue moving forward in your life and achieve all your dreams and goals. Make sure to look after your physical health by finding an exercise that you enjoy and establish an exercise routine during the week. Exercise can help with your mental health and improve your mood as well. Learn to cook healthy meals and stay hydrated, drink as much water as needed to help improve your energy levels and support the function of your brain for concentration. If you are not getting enough sleep, it can affect your quality of life. Check in with your body and increase your sleep time if you are feeling tired during the day. Create a calm bedroom and don’t bring laptops into your bedroom. Turn off your mobile phone to airplane mode and avoid checking emails or social media at least half an hour before you sleep. This can help to calm the mind and if you can meditate before sleeping and do a gentle yoga exercise even better to help calm the mind! Schedule time to relax during the day and limit your stress levels. Try meditation or spend half an hour writing in your gratitude journal. It is your choice what you decide, if it makes you feel happy do it! Stay connected with your family and friends, however if you are connected with negative people this can increase stress in your life and best to avoid those connections and find new positive people to connect with. When you are vibrating at a higher frequency, your positive tribe will find you! You will have shared values and goals to support each other on your positive journey in life. Your wellbeing is a priority for your happiness on your journey to your beautiful life.
6. Let go of toxic relationships
If you are living with a toxic partner who is constantly criticising you, speaking negatively and doesn’t appreciate you, why are you tolerating the toxic relationship? Ask yourself the question, “am I growing in this relationship and do I love spending time with this person?” How is the relationship making you feel? Most of the time people don’t know they are in a toxic relationship as it feels ‘normal’ to be treated badly. Perhaps you grew up in a negative environment and you experienced how family members treated each other. You might not know a better way but it’s only once you start doing the work to heal yourself and you move to a higher vibration and positive mindset that you will start to realise that living with a toxic person is not healthy for your mind, body and spirit. Sometimes your life will need to fall apart before the pieces of the puzzle come together. No one should have to stay in a toxic relationship as it can ruin your health and your life. If you are tolerating toxic relationships, you should ask yourself WHY? These toxic relationships are maintained because of habit not because of love. Be aware of how you feel and what is happening in your body when you are around a toxic person. Keep track of your emotions and keep a journal and write how you feel every day. This can help you to see the patterns in your relationship when you look back at what you’ve written in the days and months in your journal. You have one life to live, listen to your intuition and if it feels bad, then you know the answer. Respect yourself and know that you are on this planet for a reason and you cannot allow yourself to accept the manipulation. You deserve better, let go of toxic relationships.
7. Organise your finances
Are you constantly looking at your bank balance and thinking why you are not able to save money? If you want to start over and take control of your life, look at ways that you can reduce your spending. Can you cancel regular subscriptions that you don’t need? Try to reduce your bills every month; perhaps you can downsize to a smaller apartment or house? Are you buying ready made meals or take aways when you can cook your own healthy meals? Compare prices at different supermarkets and make a shopping list and stick to it! Avoid impulse buying things you don’t need or just because they are advertised at a lower price. If you don’t need it, don’t buy it! Look at ways to reduce your electricity bills or change to another service provider that offers cheaper rates. Buying clothes that you don’t need can also add to your expenses, if you are buying it only because it’s the latest fashion, think about if you are going to be able to wear the item of clothing next year! Start researching ways that you can invest your money and get a bigger return instead of getting the usual interest rate at your bank. Always do your research and weigh up the pros and cons before you make a decision. There are many options, you just need to decide how to make money work for you but always do your research and make sure you understand what everything means before making a decision about your future.
8. Personal growth
As Tony Robbins says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” If you feel stuck or bored in the same situation every day then your soul is calling for you to change your life. Decide what part of your life you want to change. For example, are you in a relationship where you have changed and grown and you no longer feel the same way as when you met. Perhaps, you are not growing together in your relationship and you want different things. If you feel that something is missing and you are no longer connecting with your partner then it’s probably a sign that changes are happening in your life. Start journaling your thoughts and regularly think about your strengths and how to improve your weaknesses. Have a growth mindset and never stop learning new skills, develop your interests and continue to challenge yourself. Don’t allow your life to be just a routine of work, go out meet new people, if you can, travel and explore different countries and new cultures. Step outside your comfort zone and never stop learning.
9. Environment
Are you happy where you are living or are you tolerating living in an untidy apartment or house? Look at decluttering your space and throw away anything that you no longer need. Clutter in your house can create negative thoughts and emotions. If something is broken and you cannot fix it, throw it away as it’s creating negative energy and clutter in your space. Open your windows for at least half an hour every day and allow the air to circulate every morning even if it’s cold outside. Organise a storage area for things you don’t use regularly. If you work from home, create a space in a room with the correct equipment you need to work safely. If you are living in an apartment or house that is not clean or is affecting your health, perhaps it’s time to start looking at moving and finding better accommodation. Know that you deserve better and when you raise your vibration, your circumstances in your life can change. Keep your home clean and throw away anything that is collecting dust and you haven’t used for 6 months. Your bedroom should be free from clutter, create a calm bedroom and make sure it is warm and comfortable when you sleep.
10. Spirituality
Everyone is searching for meaning and what can you do when your life has been turned upside down? Do you seek external validation only to realise that it’s temporary? There might be a person you have invested your time in and built a friendship and trust only to realise you were wrong about them. You might feel heartbroken that you allowed yourself to show your feelings but instead you have been left feeling empty and disappointed. You realised the person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings and was only playing with your emotions. First of all, it’s absolutely okay to feel sad and hurt, allow yourself to feel angry and cry if you need to. However, instead of telling everyone what happened, the person at the bus stop, your hairdresser and anyone who will listen to your story, why not turn inwards and recognise that YOUR power is within. We are all connected to a higher power and whatever you believe in, connect to that source of power. Go within and choose prayer, meditation or yoga; whatever you want to practice and makes you feel good in that connection. Do whatever makes you feel good and connected to your faith! Spirituality is finding your truth, going within and discovering that you can do the inner work to heal yourself. There is nothing external that happens without our thoughts as we are creating everything, the good and the bad. It can be a cathartic experience once we realise that the people or situations that cause pain on the outside are just a reflection of the pain we are experiencing in ourselves.
Starting over in your life at any age is not easy and won’t happen overnight! Be prepared to let go of anything that is no longer serving you. Plan and make a list of what you want to change and start changing one thing at a time. Don’t try and do everything all at once as it can be overwhelming and when it becomes difficult you might end up quitting. So start with the areas of your life that are easy to change and then move on to the difficult parts of your life that you want to change. Keep things simple and continue moving forward one step at a time. Reassess your life after 6 months so you can monitor the progress you are making. I never said it was going to be easy as I have made many changes in my own life and it has taken many years of consistent effort. I hope some of these ideas can help you start thinking about making changes in your own life. Most important is to never give up no matter what life throws at you!
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” – Tony Robbins
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